


Concentrated Sarcasm

by gracerealized



Series: Map of the Stars [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Stargate SG-1
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fun, Meet the Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28335276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracerealized/pseuds/gracerealized
Summary: Jack's faced a lot of terrifying things in his career. Meeting his girlfriend's family may be the scariest to date.
Relationships: Jack O'Neill/Buffy Summers
Series: Map of the Stars [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2010142
Kudos: 15





	1. Dem dat Know ...

**Author's Note:**

> Well! Christmas. That's a thing that happened...I guess? Oy. Once again I'm drinking so once again I figured enh, why not post another story? And once again, don't drink and post and do as I say not as I do. ;)
> 
> This one was originally posted ten-ish years ago on Twisting the Hellmouth. Not editing, just re-posting, so any mistakes we'll both just have to live with. It's complete, so I'll post a chapter every few days or so. Thank you to those of you who left kudos and reviews on the first story in this series. I wasn't sure if there would be interest after all these years. Reviews always make me post new chapters faster ...just saying, I can be bribed.
> 
> This story title comes from the great review katimaviklindzy gave me for MotS way back when. Noting that while they were excited to see this meeting, "I am a little worried that that much concentrated sarcasm could cause serious damage to the planet." Somehow that just seemed right, so thank you so much, wherever you are now!
> 
> As before, if you recognize it, I don't claim ownership, it belongs to the lovely people who hold the copyrights. If you don't, I may have had something to do with it. I'll say right now that I'm not a huge fan of Dawn from the series, so if you find she's a little OOC, well ... thank goodness. Anything I get wrong about the area/college situation/etc, please just roll with it. I sadly don't have Giles to research it all for me.
> 
> Oh yeah, and this won Best Slayer-December Romance at the Crossing Over Awards over on TtH. I'm proud of that one. :)
> 
> Enjoy, merry merry or whatever. xxx Gracie

* * *

“Of all the apartment buildings in all the world, I had to pick this crappy one.” 

Dawn grumbled to herself as she hurried up the stairs of her building, eager to get home, shower and change into something less gross. For the seventy-kazillionth time she wished that they could have managed to find something on a lower floor, or in a building with a working elevator at least. Instead they were stuck on the 6th floor of a slightly run down apartment complex with a landlord from the 10th circle of hell where used car salesmen, slimy ex-boyfriends and mimes went to vacation. Unsurprisingly the elevator hadn’t worked since they’d moved in. Her roommate still had hope it would work before they graduated, while Dawn was more of a realist and had just about talked herself into it being a good thing to climb 6 flights of stairs every day. At least she hadn’t had to buy a gym membership, and it kept her in shape for any apocalypses that might crop up. She grimaced as she passed the third floor. Halfway there.

Her first reaction on getting paired with a roommate had been sheer dismay. The plan when she moved out of Slayer Central was to live on her own. To not have to fight over bathroom privileges. To be able to relax on the couch in her underwear if she felt like it. But, the school had handed out assignments and even when there had been an issue with the on campus housing and they had helped find the off campus apartment, Dawn had moaned and groaned but done nothing to change it. In a way it felt kind of like she was doing the normal thing for the first time in her life, and it had turned out to be a wonderful bonus. Her roommate Wendy was in the same program she was, so while they both worked long grueling hours and were rarely home, she also knew how to cut loose and have a good time. Dawn was slowly learning.

The decision to go pre-med had surprised all of Dawn’s extended family, but when she’d looked at the people around her and what would be the biggest help, she knew that this was the right choice. Buffy had tried to talk her out of it, concerned that she wasn’t making the choice because it was actually something she wanted, and had assured her over and over that if she changed her mind no one would be upset. Dawn was as surprised as anyone to find out this was actually something she had a passion for and thought she could be good at. Her grades weren’t too bad for someone that had been nothing but green glowy stuff not that long ago.

She rounded the corner and headed for the home stretch, only one more floor to go. Even though she’d changed out of the mandatory scrubs and into her non-patient splattered street clothes, she couldn’t help but still feel icky from the last clinic patient of the day. This semester she and Wendy were both signed on to assist in one of the local free clinics. Their theory was that it was the torture to weed out those without the stomach for the dirty work early on since as students they were the lowest people on the totem pole and got the worst jobs. Today that had included clean up in curtain three. And five. And eight. Dawn had seen a lot of disgusting things in her life but she had to admit that some of the patients who came in with various maladies totally grossed her out.

Reaching the sixth floor landing gave her a boost of energy and she bounded through the stairwell door and down the hall to her apartment. Preoccupied with getting the stubborn door open and her keys back out of the lock it took her a moment to notice that there was a rare sight in her apartment. At first the jean-clad posterior was all she saw, but it was enough. Dawn leaned against the door behind her, causing her to stumble backwards as it slammed shut the final few inches. The man nicely filling out those marvelous jeans straightened from where he’d been perusing their bookshelves. My my, the front view was chock full of yummy goodness too. Dawn silently took in the man in front of her. Perfectly fitting jeans, check. Wide strong shoulders clad in flannel, check. Eyes you could sink into, check. So what if he was a little older? That so didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy the view. Although, come to think of it, why was such a scrumptious view in her apartment to begin with? Hmm, maybe she should talk to him if she could find spit in her suddenly Sahara dry mouth.

McHot dude smiled at her, the creases deepening in his face and his eyes twinkling. “You must be Dawn.”

“Hot. I mean, um, Hi! Dawn, I’m Dawn.” She giggled in mortification, frantically wishing her brain would reboot. And suddenly, as if wishing had made it so, she started to think again and a light went on. Parent’s weekend. Of course! “You must be Wendy’s dad!” She tried to remember if Wendy had ever mentioned that her dad was totally gorgeous.

The smile had faded and a look of discomfort appeared on his face as she babbled on. “I didn’t think Wendy was going to be around this weekend. I mean, if she is that’s totally fine, I know it’s parents weekend but I didn’t think her parents were going to make it, and I figured we’d skip the whole big hoopla since my family couldn’t make it either. I mean, my sister couldn’t come but then my friend Giles - who’s actually been more like a dad to me, or maybe a really cool older brother - was supposed to be here but then he had to go to some big symposium or whatever, and then Buffy keeps calling me, but I keep missing her when I try to call her back and I never know what time zone she’s in. It’s just that I thought Wendy was having a romantic getaway with her boyfriend for a few days so that’s why you surprised me. Oops, probably shouldn’t have mentioned the boyfriend, but he’s really such a nice guy, not like that last loser she dated. He was such a jerk and I kept going ‘Wendy he’s just using you, you can so do better’ but she didn’t seem to mind and - um - I’m going to stop now before I like start telling you about your daughter’s sex life or something. Oh my God, I just told you your daughter has a sex life!” She pressed cool hands to her fiery cheeks. “Couldn’t you please tell me to shut up or something?”

“Dawnie? Shut up.”

Dawn looked to where the voice was coming from and found a diminutive blonde leaning against the kitchen doorway. Instantly dropping her bag and notebooks she leapt to tackle the older girl into a giant hug. “Buffy! Omigod you’re here! That’s _so cool!_ Why didn’t you call me? Oh! Duh! That’s why you’ve been calling me!”

Buffy giggled as she almost stumbled at the force of her sister’s hug. A non-slayer would have gone down easily at such an attack, but the Summers women were made of tougher stuff. She took a minute to look her sister over, her ‘mom eyes’ as Anna called them noticing the tiredness in Dawn’s gaze. Other than that Buffy was glad to see she looked like she was thriving in her new environment. Not even trying to get a word in edgewise Buffy waited for the babble to slow to a halt. As it did Dawn leaned close and whispered, “did you _see_ my roommate’s dad? What a hottie! Hey! He’s too old for me and you haven’t dated in like forever, I wonder if he’s single?”

Buffy looked over Dawn’s shoulder at the man still standing in the living room. He was looking a little weathered from Hurricane Dawn. Checking him out she looked back at her little sister. “Hmm, he is pretty cute. Maybe I _should_ start dating again.” She considered for a moment then disentangled herself from her surprised sister. “Okay, you convinced me, I’m going in.” Rolling her neck and shoulders as if she were about to enter a fight, Buffy crossed the room, sliding one hand up the man’s arm. Fluttering her eyelashes as she said something quiet that Dawn couldn’t quite catch and giggling up at him she ran her other hand up his body into his hair, tugged his face down to her level and laid a long, deep kiss on the stranger. Immediately his arms were around Buffy and he had her dipped like something out of one of the old movies Buffy and Dawn used to watch with their mother.

Dawn gaped at the couple in silence, trying to wrap her mind around the images that were being fed into her brain. She heard her inner voice repeatedly protesting robotically ‘does not compute.’ Stumbling a few steps closer she tried to understand what was going on. Had she passed out from exhaustion somewhere on the stairs? Had her brain overloaded from studying and decided to just feed her random images that made no sense? Was this the sign of yet another apocalypse?

The kiss seemed to wind down and Buffy was placed back on her feet, though the two still had their arms wrapped around each other. The man was smirking at Dawn’s dumbfounded expression and Buffy was giggling uncontrollably. When the giggles finally died down to a point Buffy was able to talk, she looked at her sister and said, “Dawn? I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Jack O’Neill.”

He grinned and shot the younger girl a cocky little wave. “Nice ta meetcha!”

* * *


	2. Know that they Know ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adequate New Year, y'all! (Just trying to keep expectations reasonable this year. *wink*) Here's hoping this year is better than the last one and that everyone is safe and happy and healthy ... <3

* * *

Buffy had meant to keep her eyes open so she could get a good look at the shock she was sure was on Dawn’s face about now, but Jack was an _excellent_ kisser, and her lashes soon fluttered shut on their own. The slight daze she was in as he stood her back up was quickly broken at the way her sister was gawking at them. When she could finally stop laughing long enough to talk and introduce the two that didn’t seem to help. Dawn’s slightly glazed stare kept going from Jack to Buffy and back again. Occasionally she’d mutter a piece of a word or phrase, but she wasn’t up to forming complete sentences. Buffy looked up at her boyfriend and stage whispered, “Babe, I think we broke her.”

It was the casual endearment that seemed to snap Dawn into coherence as she took a deep breath and screeched, “Buffy Summers, you are in so much trouble!”

* * *

Jack was still smirking as he resumed his perusal of the eclectic selection on the bookcase. Dawn had quickly grabbed Buffy and towed her into the bedroom to “explain herself,” barely giving the older girl time to dramatically blow a kiss to her smirking boyfriend and tell him bravely to “go on without her if she didn’t make it back.” He had a feeling that this weekend was going to be more fun than he was expecting. Knowing that eventually he’d have to meet Buffy’s diverse family was one thing, actually booking the tickets and arranging to come was something completely different and he wasn’t too macho to admit that he’d been nervous.

Wandering over to where the DVDs and videos were arranged, Jack hadn’t even noticed that he’d put himself right next to the door to Dawn’s bedroom. He was just reaching to pick up a Harvey Birdman DVD set when he heard the screech, “ _Two years??_ ” He winced, listening the indistinct murmur of Buffy’s response. Apparently it wasn’t good enough since Dawn seemed to be stuck on, “But Buffy, two _years??_ ” Jack pulled his hand back and hurriedly made his way over to the sofa on the opposite side of the room. He was very glad to be safely in the living room.

Picking up the little doctor figurine on the end table next to him, he was horrified when the head suddenly fell off and he had to scramble to catch it before it hit the ground. Glancing at the still closed bedroom door he quickly and carefully placed the thing back on the table, placing the top of what he now realized was a box back on it, then sitting on his hands. Things like that should come with warning labels!

One knee jiggled with nerves as his gaze wandered around the apartment, landing repeatedly on the closed bedroom door where Buffy and Dawn argued. Finally he couldn’t take it anymore and got up off the couch, casually wandering closer. He felt foolish as he glanced furtively around the apartment again before leaning his ear closer to the door.

“How could you keep something this big from me? Did the others know? Everyone always knows before me.” Jack felt a little bad at the hurt in the younger girl’s voice.

Buffy was placating. “Dawnie, this was kind of a big deal for me, and at first I really wasn’t ready to share it with anyone. You know how the soap opera of my life usually goes. Buffy meets hottie, hottie turns out to be evil in some way or another, Buffy vanquishes evil hottie or he breaks up with her at the worst time possible - or possibly both - and Buffy’s left in a shame spiral while the gang makes jokes about the wasteland that is Buffy’s love life. I just … figured I’d see what happened before I told anyone.” 

It didn’t matter how many times he heard about the jerks she’d dated before him, it always left Jack wanting to meet them in a dark alley somewhere. Although, with two of them being of the undead variety he had a feeling that a dark alley wouldn’t be to his advantage. Put him in a dark alley with Smiley Riley though and that boy was going down. He smirked at the thought, tuning back to the program already in progress.

“So okay, it makes sense to not tell us right away. I get that. But … two _years_?”

“You’re totally stuck on that, aren’tcha?”

“Wouldn’t you be? I mean, how many times have I bugged you about dating and you’ve totally blown me off? Did you just forget about him?”

The answer was quiet, but solid. “Not for one itty bitty second since the night I met him.”

Jack swore he felt his heart grow in his chest like the Grinch. Under normal circumstances neither he nor Buffy were terribly wordy when it came to telling each other their feelings, although since his recent visit with the system lords they’d gotten better, both wanting to make sure that if anything happened again there would be nothing left unsaid. Having two dangerous careers in a relationship were two too many, yet they were somehow making it work. Still, it made him treasure the soft surety that Buffy spoke with about him.

“Aww, you’re in love with him!” Dawn seemed surprised.

“Well, duh.” Buffy didn’t.

“Are the smoochies good?”

Buffy sighed audibly. “You have _no_ idea.” 

Jack had a feeling he was the only one in the apartment blushing.

“You slut!”

Jack ran the words and tone through his girl translator and decided that Dawn was happy for her sister. He was thankful for spending so much time around Anna, Cassie, Janet and Buffy or he’d be completely lost about now.

Buffy was giggling at her sister’s comment, so Jack figured he was on the right track.

“He’d better love you back, or I’m so calling one of Anya’s old friends to come after him.” Jack took this to mean that Dawn was on board with the relationship … and that he should be careful not to tick the younger girl off. “He _does_ love you, right?”

“Well, why don’t we ask him? It’s not like he’s not listening right outside the door.” Jack had just enough time to stand up from his slightly hunched position before the door jerked open to show his petite girlfriend grinning up at him.

Trying not to blush at getting caught, Jack stuck his hands in his back pockets and rocked back on his heels. Buffy smirked into his eyes as he offered a sheepish shrug. “I got bored.”

* * *

After questioning Jack on his intentions - which he uneasily answered some of - his job - which he didn’t - and verifying that he did indeed claim to love her sister back, Dawn seemed prepared to sit back and get to know the ‘new’ man in her sister’s life. It didn’t mean that she was going to let Buffy off the hook so easily though, and she proceeded to razz her mercilessly, only pausing long enough to finally take the shower she’d been craving all afternoon.

Buffy waited until she could hear the shower running in the other room before she walked over to where her boyfriend was sitting. Not stopping until they were knee to knee, she leaned down, bracing her hands on either side of his head where it rested on the back of the couch. “So, as scary as you thought it would be?”

He looked over her shoulder to check that the door to the bathroom was still closed then shot Buffy a wolfish grin. “ _Much_ scarier. I definitely need to be held after that one.”

She snickered as she rolled her eyes and climbed onto his lap facing him with her legs on either side of his. “Oh by all means.”

Sliding his hands up her back, he jerked her flat against him until they were nose to nose. “Don’t make fun of my pain, minx.”

“Poor baby. Did my widdle sister scawe you? Want Buffy to kiss it better?”

“Can I ignore the first part of that and just answer the last question with ‘hell yeah?’”

Both sets of lips were grinning when they met. They dove into the kiss with the familiarity of lovers, lips molding together as their tongues slid over each others. Buffy’s hands were running through his short hair and one of his hands had made its way up the back of her sweater when the bathroom door snapped open a few minutes later. They jerked apart with a guilty start, and Jack quickly pulled his hand out of the danger zone.

Buffy looked over her shoulder at the robe and towel swathed sister standing there glaring. “Oh eeeeeew! _Please_ tell me I’m not going to have to put up with this kind of thing all weekend!”

Buffy didn’t move from his lap as she snarked back, “You’re just jealous cause this is the most action this couch’s seen since you moved in.”

Dawn pouted and slouched in the direction of her bedroom. “If you guys have been together two years, shouldn’t you be past this already? Shouldn’t you be out of the honeymoon and onto the married couple stage where you barely look at each other, let alone grope in my living room?”

Shaking his head at Dawn in much the same way Buffy’d seen him do to Anna and Cassie, Jack explained, “First of all, if I could ever get her alone long enough to get tired of her, maybe I wouldn’t still want to kiss on her every second I get the chance. But I don’t, so I do. Second of all, there was very little groping, you interrupted too soon. Now, if there are no more questions, didn’t you say something about getting dressed up so I could spend a bunch of money on an expensive dinner to butter you up?”

Dawn stuck her tongue out at him in childish disgust and closed the door hard. Buffy’d just begun to lean back towards Jack when it reopened a second later. “Don’t think you guys don’t have to do your own changing and primping thing. I meant it when I said you had to take me somewhere _really_ nice.” Happy with herself for the groan she’d wrung out of Jack, Dawn smugly closed the door again, glad to have the upper hand once again.

Jack grimaced. “And I was doing so well!”

Buffy laughed and patted his cheek consolingly. “Don’t let the ‘rents getcha down sweetie. We’re older and wiser … and tonight will be in a hotel room many many blocks away.”

He pulled her close once again and looked up at her in admiration. “Did I tell you what a great idea that was?”

“No, but it’ll take Dawn a while to finish in there and be ready for us to go change, so feel free to show me until she does.”

One hand slid into her hair and tilted her head closer to his. Just before their lips met he whispered, “See? Another great idea. You’re brilliant _and_ sexy. That is such a turn on.”

Her giggles died quickly as she was distracted into the kiss.

* * *

Trying to decide if she should put her hair up or leave it down, Dawn shook her head in disgust at the muffled sounds coming from the other room. The apartment had wonderful acoustics and _terrible_ insulation and just cause she knew they wouldn’t do too much on her couch didn’t mean she wanted to hear her sister … all … happy and stuff. Muttering under her breath she stomped over to her bedside table and turned on the speakers connected to her ipod. If she was honest, what irritated her most was that Buffy was right: it _was_ the most action her couch had ever seen from a Summers sister.

* * *


	3. And Dem dat Don't Know ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still one of my favorite chapters ...
> 
> Oh, and as far as I can tell from the 2 minutes of research I did, the school mentioned doesn't have a pre-med program, but ... just go with me, okay? Pretty please? ;)
> 
> Please feel free to keep reading and reviewing, it so makes my day. (It also makes me update faster, just sayin...I can be bought.)

* * *

Buffy and Dawn were giggling conspiratorially when they entered the swanky DC restaurant arm in arm and still grinning broadly when Buffy gave Jack’s name to the hostess. Dawn was amazed that she hadn’t figured out Buffy had a honey before the announcement that afternoon, there was a glow to her sister that had been missing for a long time, though now that she thought of it there had definitely been signs that she was happier in the last few years.

The hostess informed them that their table wasn’t quite ready, but they were invited to wait in the bar area until it was. They quickly decided to take that option and after checking their coats, found seats at the shining black marble bar. Buffy shook her head at the marvel of having a legal drink with her baby sister, something she still couldn’t quite get over. She slid onto the tall stool and glanced out the picture window behind the bartender at the Washington Memorial, lit up in the distance against the darkening sky. If Dawn had to move away from everyone, Buffy had to admit this wasn’t a bad place to come visit her.

After perusing the drink menu and several minutes of general debate they both ordered frilly specialty drinks, then used the time alone to get down to the serious business of sisterly gossip catch up while they waited for the bartender to finish blending, stirring and shaking.

Buffy easily noticed how happy Dawn seemed as she chattered about school, her roommate and their new friends. 

For Dawn it was a true revelation. She’d never known the lighthearted, relaxed, peaceful Buffy who sat with her and even though he wasn’t with them, she found herself liking Jack all the more for showing her this side of her sister.

Their cocktails were delivered with artistic fruity embellishments, and they carefully raised the full glasses in a salute. Buffy tried to think of a suitable toast for the occasion but Dawn jumped in first. “To you and Jack, if he keeps making you this happy, I promise not to torture him.” Buffy felt herself getting misty as they clinked glasses and each took a sip of their drinks. It meant a lot to her to have her sister’s support. Dawn waited until they’d both placed their glasses back on the bar before she grinned evilly and added, “Much.”

Buffy was still laughing when she felt the hand on her shoulder. Assuming that Jack had finally joined them, she turned with a smile on her face, not noticing Dawn’s look of surprise and disgust at the figure behind her.

“I thought I recognized you two when you came in!”

Dawn was making faces at her over the suit-clad shoulder currently hugging Buffy enthusiastically. He didn’t realize that Buffy wasn’t hugging back, but then Riley Finn had never been the brightest bulb in the pack.

Buffy smirked when he pulled back and attempted to hug her sister, only to be skillfully blocked as Dawn pretended to reach for her drink. Buffy made a mental note to ask where she had learned that move, it would have come in handy at the Bronze more than once years ago, and more recently a few weeks prior when she was waiting for Jack at O’Malley’s and some drunken jarhead had tried to pick her up. Although Jack had had fun with the poor little marine when he arrived. Buffy snickered internally at the memory.

Riley was undaunted by Dawn’s brush off, and his teeth gleamed as he beamed at them both. “Why didn’t you call and tell me you were in town?”

The sisters exchanged a glance, at a loss for a polite response that didn’t include “cause we didn’t think of you and if we had we wouldn’t have wanted to see you, duh!”

Buffy tried to smile and remind herself that Riley wasn’t really that bad. So he’d gone a little evil and broken her heart. He wasn’t the first to do so, and it wasn’t like it would have lasted much longer anyway. Looking at him now she really wasn’t quite sure why she’d ever thought he was such a catch. “Hey, Riley. I didn’t know this really counted as ‘in town’ for you. Aren’t you guys still in Arlington?”

He waved that minor tidbit aside, “Close enough. What about you?”

“Oh, just in town to visit Dawn for parents weekend. She’s in pre-med at Georgetown now.”

“Little Dawnie all grown up.” He tsked over her condescendingly. “You should have called us when you started. We would have been happy to help get you set up, you know I have contacts all over the city.”

Dawn glared at her sister for putting her on the spot. “That’s okay, it was a pretty easy move, and of course I had a lot of help, even if Buffy couldn’t be here then.”

Riley nodded at Dawn seriously. “Well I’m sure she had a good reason, your sister has a very important job to do, and sometimes we have to put family second to save the world.”

Dawn stared at him as if he’d morphed into a slimy squid. What kind of pompous moron was this guy? She looked at Buffy who was shaking her head at Riley in disbelief.

“And how _is_ Sam, anyway?”

Riley looked back at Buffy, seeming to not understand where the conversational transition had come from. “She’s perfect as always. You know she’s up for another promotion soon.”

“Good for her.” Buffy’s smile was even, though the ‘perfect’ remark had stung slightly. “Wouldn’t that make her the same rank as you?”

He scoffed and moved to sit on the stool next to Buffy but didn’t answer the question, which had Dawn smirking as she leaned forward to sip her drink.

“So you two ladies decided to have a night on the town, huh? I’d join you if I wasn’t meeting someone here for dinner.”

Dawn smiled icily. “We’d invite you if the reservation wasn’t just for three.”

“Three? What, you drag Giles along for parents weekend? I guess he has been like a father to you two, hasn’t he?”

Buffy glared at him, but it was Dawn who answered. “Buffy and Giles have always been there for me, and have been good stand in parents, but Giles is so not like _Buffy’s_ dad. And no, unfortunately he’s in New Delhi right now.”

Riley shrugged, obviously not convinced or particularly concerned about the relationships either way. He was a man of black and white beliefs; to him the grays were a bit of a stumper. “So who’s your third? Does little Dawnie have a boyfriend?”

“As you said yourself, little Dawnie is all grown up, thank you,” she glared. “But no, tonight it’s more of a meet the in law night for Buffy’s boyfriend.”

Riley snorted a laugh and turned to tease the blonde. “God, what kind of loser did you bring home this time Buff?”

Dawn smiled sharply at Riley, fielding the questions as Buffy’s head snapped between the two like a spectator at a tennis match. “You know, of all of Buffy’s _loser_ ex-boyfriends, I think this one’s finally a keeper. I’ve never seen her so happy with _anyone_ else. With a little luck I’ll have a brother in law and a few little nieces and nephews running around before too long.”

Buffy smirked, knowing that Dawn was exaggerating to rub it in Riley’s face. It wasn’t that far out of the question though, so she was happy to hear that her sister wouldn’t be hard to persuade to get on board.

“Geez, where’d you meet this paragon of goodness, Buffy?” He scowled, not pleased with the way Buffy’s younger sister had put him in his place.

Dawn’s brow puckered in thought. “Hey, you know? I never heard this part of the story either! Where did you guys meet, I can’t imagine you in many of the same circles.”

Buffy tilted her head down and watched Riley through her lashes. “Actually Ri I really should thank you. Without you we never would have met.”

Warm arms slid around Buffy’s waist as someone came up behind her stool. “Yeah Finn old buddy. Thanks heaps.”

Buffy leaned back into her boyfriend and lifted her chin to accept the automatic casual kiss. “All done with your phone call babe?”

“Sorry about that. Hammond sends his love and wants to know when we’re going to be home, he wants to have us over for dinner as soon as possible.” Jack made a point of ignoring the shocked young man.

“Who’s that?” Dawn wanted to know.

Buffy turned to her, the three of them creating a family unit that excluded Riley. “Oh God, I haven’t even had a chance to tell you. You remember Uncle George? He’s Jack’s CO now.”

“No way!”

“I know, small world, right?

Riley sputtered back to the conversation. “You know General Hammond?”

“He’s my godfather.” Buffy explained absently.

“But … you never told me that!”

Jack paused from where he was trying to get the bartenders attention to share a look of eye rolling disbelief with Dawn. What a whining moron.

“My great-great-great grandmother was Hungarian royalty and my great-great-great grandfather was a Hungarian riding instructor. I never mentioned that when we were together either, why do you care?”

“But I thought you didn’t like Generals. At our party you said …” Riley trailed off, obviously finally making the connection of where Buffy and Jack had met.

“Yep, that was a great shindig you threw.” Jack grinned and ran a proprietorial hand down Buffy’s bare arm.

Buffy’s face glowed from the memory and she looked up at Jack. “Yeah, _great_ party.”

Dawn was giggling at the show and leaned around her sister to warn Riley, “They keep getting like this. If I didn’t know I’d never believe that they’d been together for two years.”

_“Two years!?”_

Buffy pulled back from Jack to look at Dawn. “God, I’ve been hearing that a lot today.” Dawn stuck out her tongue at her sister who smiled smugly and turned back to Riley. “Besides, I never said I didn’t like Generals, just that I’d rather have the stomach flu than hear a sales pitch from one trying to recruit me. There’s a big difference!”

Riley didn’t even attempt to reply to the Buffy logic of that statement, seizing on another rare thought instead. “Wait … is that why you needed me to get you into Cheyenne Mountain last month?”

Buffy smiled. “Yeah, thanks for that by the way. I guess I have you to thank for helping Jack and I get together twice.”

“But …” Riley floundered for a moment and Jack inadvertently saved him when he looked up to find the hostess beckoning. “Sorry Finn, dinner calls and I’ve been told I have to butter up these beautiful ladies with me if I don’t want to wind up on the couch tonight … not that I minded much this afternoon.” He stepped close to help Buffy slide from her stool, grinning sexily down at her before winking and releasing her to gently help Dawn as well. “So good to see you though and hey, thanks again.” He gently grasped a female elbow on either side and escorted them away from where Riley still sat at the bar.

As they followed the hostess out Riley could swear he heard Jack mutter, “Bloody pillock.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side Note, family lore says that my great-great-great grandmother was Hungarian royalty and my great-great-great grandfather was a Hungarian riding instructor. ;) The more you knowwwww ...


	4. Dey Don't Know Dey Don't Know ...

* * *

Finishing their main courses, Dawn still would giggle randomly, ridiculously pleased at the uppance that had come to Riley that night. 

Interrupting a story Buffy had been telling, she suddenly asked, “was I hallucinating, or did Jack totally channel Giles back there? I thought I was the first to get to meet him, don’t tell me Giles knew about _this_ first too?”

Buffy rolled her eyes at the whine in her sister’s voice and assured her, “Don’t worry, you’re definitely the first to meet him. The first time Jack and I met I made the mistake of telling him what Giles used to call Riley. I think it’s Jack’s favorite phrase now. Riley’s _always_ a bloody pillock-“

“Damn skippy.” Jack agreed.

“But he doesn’t reserve it just for Riley anymore. Sometimes whoever gave him extra paperwork is a pillock. Bad drivers can be pillocks. Apophis is _definitely_ a bloody pillock.”

“On a good day.” Jack scowled.

“Who’s Apophis?”

“Um …” Buffy looked at her sister. She’d forgotten for a moment that Dawn didn’t know about the Stargate. “Someone at Jack’s work who could seriously use an introduction to my troll hammer.”

Dawn had grown up around secrets, but had finally learned to accept - if not always gracefully - that there were things she didn’t need to know sometimes. This wasn’t one of the graceful times.

Buffy did her best to distract her. “My favorite is when he leans on that Minnesota accent and says, ‘ya sher ya betcha … ya bloody pillock.’” She tried to mimic him and did a good enough job to have both girls giggling uncontrollably and Jack shaking his head at his girlfriend’s teasing.

“Did I tell you about T’s reaction?” He made his face impassive as he imitated, “O’Neill, I do not know what this ‘bloody pillock’ is that you speak of. Why is it bloody, has it been in battle?”

Buffy snorted with laughter then explained to a confused Dawn, “All the silence of Oz and all the confusion of Anya in one convenient package the size of a small mountain.”

Dawn’s confusion didn’t abate, but she laughed anyway at the disturbing image. “So you think I should I tell him what Giles called the last guy I brought home?”

“Oh God, please no!” Buffy buried her face in her hands

Jack’s grin was full of unholy glee when Dawn winked at him and mouthed, “Later.”

The buzz of a cell phone set on vibrate startled them all, and Dawn sighed as Buffy and Jack both reached to check theirs. She wasn’t sure what exactly Jack did, but from some cryptic remarks of Buffy’s she had the feeling he was also in the world saving business, so she fully expected one or both to be pulled away by an emergency. It was only after they both looked at their cells and shook their heads that it occurred to Dawn that she too had brought a cell phone with her and set it on vibrate. Blushing to herself, she dug it out of her bag and checked the text message that had made it hum.

“Oh my God, I totally forgot I was sposed to meet some friends at this new club.”

Buffy smiled at her enthusiasm, glad to see Dawn finally letting loose and having a little fun. “Don’t worry about it, you go ahead and go. Jack and I’ll meet you sometime tomorrow.”

“Okay, I guess that would be okay.” Dawn’s eyes lit up in a sudden flash of brilliance. “Or you guys could come with! You could meet my friends and I could show you this place. It totally reminds me of the Bronze.”

“That’s sweet, but I’m sure the last thing you want is to drag your older sister and her boyfriend out to a club with you.”

“Oh please don’t try to fish. You know I love hanging out with you.”

“Hey, Jack’s been teaching me, I’m getting better all the time!”

Dawn was stumped at where the conversation had gone. “Teaching you what? And if it’s gross, _please_ forget I asked.”

The blonde snickered then batted her eyelashes self-mockingly at her boyfriend. “Oh, he’s taught me so much. To laugh, to fish, to love.”

Dawn looked at Jack, unimpressed. “Wow, I hope she didn’t rattle those off in order of importance or we’re now seeing where her priorities lay.”

“Hey! I really like fishing, what can I say?”

“You do? Seriously?” Dawn looked from her sister to Jack. “She does? Seriously?”

Amused by the teasing banter that had kept him entertained throughout dinner, Jack shook his head no, before leaning back in his chair to watch their show. It was an interesting relationship that seemed to work well, although would be hard to explain to outsiders. As Dawn had matured and grown somewhat out of her brat stage they had been able to return to a more friend and sister relationship, but after being thrust into the mother/daughter roles for so many years there were just some things that had stuck that way, in both good and bad ways. There were still moments Buffy would nag Dawn over protectively, and more moments Dawn would react as the snotty teenager she’d been. Still, it was obvious how much they loved each other, and Jack was very relieved to have seemingly made a decent showing of his first time meeting the family.

“That okay with you babe?”

Jack pulled himself from his thoughts at Buffy’s question, disconcerted to see both women staring at him expectantly. “Uhh …”

Buffy deliberately let the moment drag on before throwing him a lifeline. “Dawn wants me to see this club that’s ‘the Bronze’s less evil twin.’ You don’t mind, do you?”

Seeing hopes of an early night together flashing away, he nevertheless smiled at them both. Just because he was an old fogey didn’t mean his young beautiful girlfriend had to have an early evening too. “Sure, I’ll just head back to the hotel after dinner, and you can meet me there when you’re done.”

The words were barely out of his mouth when both women started shaking their heads. Buffy was the one who explained, “Nothing doing cutie. For me there are only two reasons to go to a club: to cuddle with your honey or to flirt and try to pick up a honey. I’ve already done the picking, now I’m ready for the cuddling. I wouldn’t turn down a dance or two either.” She smiled at him hopefully.

He was feeling good about his chances of staying firm in his adamant refusal. Then Buffy’s lower lip started to move. Her pout wasn’t quite powerful enough to convince him to brave the horrors of a club. The one-two punch of both Buffy and Dawn pouting at him was more than he could take. Mentally throwing in the towel he wondered why Goa’uld threats never came when he really needed them. It just figured. Sure they interrupted dinner dates, sporting events, movies, romantic evenings and trips to his cabin, but when he was facing the most terrifying thing he could think of they were nowhere in sight.

* * *

The club was called Sizzle. Jack wasn’t even sure why that irritated him, just that it did. Even if he hadn’t been twenty years older than most of the clientele, he still wouldn’t have felt comfortable in that place. Thankfully Dawn had sent off a flurry of text messages to the friends who were already there, resulting in their names being left with the bouncer and them not having to wait in line to get in. He was hoping that they could get in and out as quickly as possible to get back to the hotel and the smoochies he’d been promised. He paused to re-think and mentally smacked himself. His guy card was going to get revoked if he ever referred to it as ‘smoochies’ again. Buffy snuggled closer and he looked down to where her cleavage was displayed to advantage by the sleek satiny midnight blue dress. Of course, showing up with a hot young blonde on his arm would pretty much cancel out anything else when it came to keeping his guy card. He grinned smugly as the bouncer eyed the two beautiful women with him as they passed and then looked at Jack in admiration. Yeah, the old guy still had it.

Jack’s satisfied smirk faded quickly when they got inside. Music loud enough to rattle his teeth was pounding through the speakers. The lighting was just dark enough to have his trouble radar on high alert. The clash of voices rose over the music, each struggling to be heard, and there were people bumping and grinding on the dance floor in ways he really didn’t need to see anyone doing in public. He turned to his girlfriend, ready to beg to get away if he had to. The look on her face made him pause. He couldn’t quite place it until Dawn babbled happily, “Isn’t it JUST like the Bronze? God, you and the gang used to be there _all_ the time!”

Understanding clicked into place as he slid an arm around his girlfriend.

Buffy stopped just inside the doorway and stared. The Scooby gang _had_ spent hour upon hour in a club scarily like this one once upon a time. So much had happened since then: the fall of Sunnydale, the fall of so many friends and so many friendships. She supposed she had grown up somewhere along the line, and wasn’t really sure she liked it.

Jack pulled her closer and Buffy smiled up him, trying to shake off the broody nostalgia she could feel coming on. There was at least one big perk of growing up, and he was standing right next to her. Maybe there was a time she could go to the Bronze and dance with her best pals and let the world slide by, but that wasn’t what she wanted anymore. He was.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So back when I was writing this story I was working on a show. Lotta late nights driving home, staying awake by listening to radio dedication programs. And, I'd like to thank the woman on that program. She was bragging on her boyfriend who "taught me so much. To laugh, to fish, to love.” It was just too funny not to use! :)


	5. Come Dancing ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't own anything, including the song quoted, although I love it. I do own my two buddies, luckily they work cheap. ;)

* * *

Jack crossed his arms and leaned back into the uncomfortable stool, wondering when the waitress would choose to re-appear with the much needed alcohol. Dawn had dragged Buffy off to dance to ‘totally the best song ever.’ He had easily made the decision to wait at the table; if this was the best song ever, the world was doomed.

The waitress finally deposited the drinks on the table and scooped up his cash with barely a pause in her stride. Jack fell on his beer, grateful that he at least had something to do other than sit and look out of place.

“Oh my god! Dude, that’s totally Mr. Cooper over there!”

Jack had to restrain himself from looking to see what the young voice behind him found so fascinating, especially when a second equally juvenile speaker joined in.

“No way.”

“Yes way!”

“Dude, Mr. Cooper’s like … old and stuff.”

At this Jack did look around a little. If there was someone else closer to his age suffering with him, he wanted to know about it.

“Shut up, he’s gonna see you!”

“It can’t be him. I so don’t see Mr. Cooper wearing that awesome black leather jacket.”

Jack looked down at his own coat.

“How would you know? When was the last time you actually showed up to his class in the first place?”

“Hey, just cause I have better things to do with my time … Do you think it’s really him? What is it, dork outreach night?”

“Your dad’s so gonna ground you when he finds out you’ve been skipping class.”

“Like your mom wouldn’t have a shit fit if she saw your fake ID?”

“When doesn’t she?”

“Fo’ shizzle.”

“Dude.”

“What?”

“Seriously.”

_”What?”_

“’Fo’ shizzle?’ You _so_ can’t pull that off.”

Jack smirked. He had to agree.

“Whatever.”

“I think we should get out of here.”

“Man, we just got here!”

“Yeah, but if that’s Mr. Cooper he knows we shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m telling you Kev, it isn’t him! Mr. Cooper’s a total geek, he wouldn’t be in a place like this. He’s probably still in his lab. Probably sleeps with a test tube.”

“Well then who _is_ that guy. You think he’s a narc?”

“Maybe he’s just some guy at a club. Why are you all up in his grill?”

“Dude!”

Jack snickered and took another sip of his beer.

“What?”

“You’re white, Ronnie.”

“So?”

“So, you sound stupid.”

“You’re the one who thinks the dude sitting by himself in a hot club is our dweeby chemistry teacher, and you think _I_ sound stupid?”

“Exactly, he’s sitting all by himself in a cool club with like all those drinks. Maybe that’s cause he doesn’t know anyone.”

Jack looked at the table in front of him and the drinks waiting for the girls. He was sure now that they were talking about him.

“Dude, you can stay here and keep watch on possi-dork, I’m going to find a babe to hook up with.”

“Yeah. Good luck with _that._ ”

“Hey, what’s that sposed to mean?”

The voices continued to bicker and Jack risked looking around until he spotted Ronnie and his buddy. They looked all of sixteen or seventeen and Jack had to laugh at the stupidity of youths who thought it was fashionable to wear your pants hanging off your ass with oversize t-shirts and sweatshirts layered until the unfortunate teens looked like overstuffed scarecrows. Their poor parents. Jack shook his head, remembering how his mother used to tell him she hoped he had a child just like himself someday. Now he wished the same thing on those two dumbasses. Or, he would if he was still able to use the ‘w’ word without shuddering at the thought of what his girlfriend would do if she caught him.

As if summoned by his thoughts, Buffy bounced up to the table and grabbed her ice water, taking a long slow sip and eyeing her amused boyfriend over the rim. “You look like you’re having fun.” She tilted his head, suddenly suspicious. “Hey, why do you look like you’re having fun? Not that I’m not glad you’re not miserable - hmm, that was like a triple negative there - but even I’m getting a headache in this place.”

She bypassed the stool next to his to slide her arm around his shoulders and cuddle close. He wrapped his arms around her waist and turned to bring her between his legs and closer to his body. “Just happy to see you.”

Giggling up at him she made promises with her eyes. “Definitely hold that thought sweetie. I figure we’ll hang out here a couple more songs then get the heck outta dodge. Then we can get back to the hotel and take care of that ‘happy’.” They grinned at each other and kissed softly.

A slow song came on and Buffy cuddled closer to his chest, content to just sway and be held by him for a few minutes.

Conversations all over the club were slightly muted by the absence of the loud rhythm and Jack could clearly hear the boys wonder behind him.

“No way!”

“Dude, Mr. Cooper’s got a girlfriend! And she’s a total babe!”

“No way!”

“How the heck could he get _her_?”

“No way!”

“That’s totally him. We’re so busted, I haven’t even started my homework for Monday.”

“No way!”

“Dude, are you gonna say anything else?”

“No way!”

“Ronnie, we so gotta get outta here before he sees us!”

“No way … I mean … if we leave now he’ll totally notice us.”

“You just want to keep watching the hot chick.”

“Like you don’t?”

“ … So we’ll stay a little while longer then go back and start on Monday’s homework.”

“Maybe you will, I haven’t done homework for his class for like two months.”

“Has school even been back in for two months?”

“I dunno.”

“Jack? Honey? You with me here?” Buffy waved a hand in front of her boyfriend’s eyes and saw him finally focus on her. “Thought I’d lost you for a minute there, where’d you go?”

He looked at her for a moment, then gathered her close for a long, deep kiss, just for his buddies Kev and Ronnie. Well, if he was being truthful, it was for him, too, but he had to admit he got a kick out of the awed response he half noticed coming from behind them. He lifted his head and grinned at the way Buffy’s eyes were dazed when she opened them. He pushed her slightly away from him and stood, lacing his fingers into hers and pulling her toward where another ballad had just started. This one he could stand, and it would be a good excuse to hold his girlfriend for a while.

Buffy beamed at him when she realized that Jack was going to dance with her without any begging or pleading or hearts and flowers holidays. She had found that he was actually a much smoother dancer than she would ever have expected, but was almost always extremely reluctant for some reason.

Jack led her to the edge of the dance floor and turned her into his arms, holding her tight. Buffy didn’t realize she was humming to the song until he asked what it was.

“I think it’s called Lucky. I have it on my ipod.”

“It’s not bad, especially compared to the other stuff they’ve been playing.”

“I’ve always kind of thought the lyrics fit us.”

“Aw man, is this going to be one of those sappy girl things where we find ‘our song’ and then I’m always supposed to remember it, and this moment, and what you were wearing and what I was wearing and get all teary when I hear it?”

She swatted his arm and shook her head. Why did she even try? “No, moron. Just listen to the damn words, wouldja?”

“I can’t understand them, there’s too much other noise in here. What’s he saying?”

Buffy grinned up at him as he whined, knowing that this was his way of letting her have her moment even under protest. She sang softly to him, “They don’t know how long it takes, waiting for a love like this. Every time we say goodbye, I wish we had one more kiss, I’ll wait for you I promise you, I will. I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend, Lucky to have been where I have been, Lucky to be coming home again.”

Jack had to admit that the words really did kind of fit them, and the many times he was offworld, or she was offslaying, both just waiting for the moment where they could be together again. Instead of admitting it, he pulled her close, finding her lips with his as they swayed to the music.

They were still kissing when the next song started with a clash of … some sort of instruments, Jack wasn’t quite sure what, but it sounded like a toddler given free reign with a metal spoon and a stack of pots. They broke apart with a grimace and both headed back to their table.

“I’m gonna find Dawn and tell her we’re gonna get outta here, okay?” Buffy had to almost shout.

He didn’t even try to hide his relived smile and he nodded enthusiastically. She laughed and melted into the crowd, in search of where her sister had disappeared with her friends.

Jack started to pick up his beer, then thought better of it. It had been unguarded at the table for the last several minutes and that thought was enough to have him leaving it where it sat. Dawn had swooped down for her drink as he and Buffy were heading to the dance floor, so he didn’t feel too bad about abandoning the glass of water and half a beer that were left.

Looking around he found Kevin and Ronnie still trying to blend into the background and still looking almost as out of place as Jack felt. Buffy had found Dawn and the sisters were conversing with the friends Dawn had migrated to, so Jack took the opportunity to approach the two young men.

It looked like only sheer terror that was holding them in place as they realized he was coming to talk to them.

“Gentlemen.” He smirked at them. “I assume since you’re out tonight that your homework is done and I’ll be seeing you with it in class on Monday, right?”

“Oh, yes sir Mr. Cooper.”

“Good. And Ronnie? I assume you’ll be in to ask how you can catch up on all the work you’ve missed while you’ve been absent, isn’t that right?”

There was an audible gulp, then a resigned, “Yes, sir.”

“Then I think we’ll be able to pretend like this little event never happened, don’t you?”

“Thank you Mr. Cooper!” Two relieved voices chorused.

“Don’t mention it.” He smirked. “Ever.”

He started to walk away when a nervous voice asked, “Mr. Cooper? Can I ask you a question?”

Jack turned and quirked one eyebrow at Kevin, the more courageous of the two.

“H-how did _you_ get a hot babe like _that_?” He gestured and Jack turned to see Buffy walking towards them.

He grinned. “That, boys, is why you need to go to class. Chemistry is a wonderful thing.” Jack winked at them, then slung an arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders as she came up beside him. 

The boys watched them walk out in openmouthed disbelief. After a minute Kevin elbowed Ronnie. “I told you it was him.”

Ronnie nodded his head solemnly. “Fo’ shizzle yo’ rizzle Kev … and what a babe!”

Kevin nodded back, equally serious. “True dat.”

* * *


	6. Kids!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He came, he saw, he escaped, no one died. All in all, a pretty damn good mission report.

* * *

Jack led his giggling girlfriend out of the club, thankful to be breathing the chilly fresh air and feeling a little like he did every time they made it home safe from off world. He came, he saw, he escaped, no one died. All in all, a pretty damn good mission report. 

Buffy was trying to convince him to tell her what he’d been saying to those scared looking teenage boys inside and he prudently waited until she bribed him with smoochies then spilled like a leaky faucet.

They continued to meander down the dark streets in the general direction of their hotel while Jack told her the story of Ronnie and Kev to her great amusement.

“And they really thought you were this Mr. Cooper?”

He snorted in disgust. “I think to them all “old” guys look alike.”

She pulled slightly away from him. “I dunno, he sounds like a hottie. Good to know there’s a spare out there just in case.”

“Hey! Just in case what?”

She giggled, feeling good in body, in her life, in her relationship.

He pouted. “Just in case _what_?”

She smirked and pulled out of his embrace, turning to walk backwards in front of him as she teased him. 

He reached out to grab her and she skipped back, his fingers just barely missing.

He reached for her again. One minute she was in front of him, the next she was gone.

Jack blinked at the empty air for several seconds before his brain caught up and he rushed to follow the sounds of fighting into the nearby alley, frantically scrambling in his pocket for the stakes he always carried now.

Buffy was pure poetry in motion. He knew it was cliché, and didn’t really care. A girl who knew how to kick ass was _hot_.

There was a break in the fighting as her first opponent was dusted and the remaining vamps recalculated the easy bite they’d thought her to be. Buffy stood still for a moment, sizing up her opponents. Her hair swirled down around her shoulders as she used the wooden skewers that had held it in place for the evening to hold off the pack of vamps surrounding her. Other than that she looked perfectly composed and unlike Jack, whose adrenaline was pumping, she didn’t even seem to be breathing hard.

She cut her eyes briefly towards her boyfriend and commented conversationally. “You know? I kinda expected it at Sizzle. I figured if it was ‘just like’ The Bronze it would be _just like_ The Bronze and crawling with undead.” She turned back to the vamps. “What’s the matter, is it a school night? Are you boys not cool enough to get into Sizzle? Or do you just not like the name? Sounds a little like what happens to you guys when Mr. Sun comes up, hmm? Too bad none of you are gonna get the chance to turn into bacon.”

Buffy winked at Jack and as suddenly as a rubber band snapping, the fight was back on.

Jack was staying on the outside of the fighting so he didn’t get in Buffy’s way, but still holding his own against the outliers stupid enough to take him on. Buffy was using her hair sticks in ways that the perky salesgirl at Claire’s Boutique had surely never thought of.

“Ma’am, Sir? Don’t worry, I’m here to take care of this, you can run now.”

Buffy looked at the young redhead who’d appeared in the alley with them. She vaguely recognized her as one of the DC Slayers, Mary, Maya, something like that. Then her words registered and she looked at Jack. “Did she just call me _ma’am_?”

Before he could respond Mary/Maya continued, “It’s just a street gang on PCP, nothing to worry about.”

Buffy stepped back a few paces to watch the young slayer at work. “I can’t believe we’re still using that crappy cover story.”

Jack snickered, his attention still mostly on the fight in front of them. “And you made fun of ‘Deep Space Radar Telemetry’.”

“That one’s lame too. We so need to put the geeks to work coming up with better cover stories.”

“Sounds like a plan.” They both watched the redhead’s technique as she staked another vampire. “She’s not doing half bad.”

“No, but she could get more oomph on her spin kick if she extended her leg a hair later.”

“Oomph? Is that a technical term?”

“In my world? Why not.” Buffy grinned then stepped back towards the fight. She staked the vamp closest to her almost absently as she watched Mary/Maya fight the last one. The vamp was pushed away with enough force to hit the wall and both vampire and mini-slayer paused to regroup. “Do you mind if I break in here real quick?”

The two combatants turned to stare at her.

“I know, I know, you’re in the heat of battle and all that, but she-“ she gestured to the slayer, “-is about to dust your ass anyway, so I didn’t think you’d mind us using you as a teaching case.”

The vampire snarled.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Thanks!” She grinned brightly and stepped closer to the younger girl, inadvertently stepping into the light from the street.

The redhead gasped. “Ms. Summers?”

The vampire paused from where he’d been about to run at them. “Summers?” He asked with dread. “Tell me you’re the little one.”

“First of all, don’t talk with your mouth full. It’s really hard to understand you with those fangs in the way. Second, what do you mean by little? I mean, technically my sister is taller than I am, which is _soo_ unfair. But I’m still the big sister, so I think that makes her the little sister.” She thought about it a minute then shrugged. “Ah well, either way my name is Buffy, I’m the Vampire Slayer, you’re a vampire, but I’m kinda on vacation so I’m going to have my friend here dust you.” She smiled winningly. “Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

The vampire gaped at her in silence for a minute, then turned to run.

Buffy easily grabbed him and threw him back against the wall. “Was that nice? Sheesh!” She turned to the young slayer who had been staring at her with something akin to worship in her eyes. “Now, you were doing really good back there, it’s obvious you’ve put a lot of time into training. However, I think you could get a little more out of that spin kick if you tried extending you leg just a little later. Like this.”

Jack leaned against the side of the building next to him and watched as Buffy coached the younger girl. He had to admit he was enjoying himself a lot more now than he had most of the night. Every time Buffy demonstrated the spin kick the girls were working on, the slit of her satin dress rode up, showing off a long, smooth length of leg. He couldn’t choose between lusting after his girlfriend and admiring how well she taught the younger girl, so decided to alternate between the two. After about fifteen minutes of instruction Buffy stepped back and gestured for the younger slayer to finish off the vamp, who promptly disintegrated with an almost grateful look on his face. 

Mary/Maya - whose name they never did get straight, mostly because Buffy hated to have to ask and Jack didn’t get any of her signals trying to get _him_ to ask - practically danced beside them as they walked back to their hotel. She was high off her victories slaying and obviously extremely excited to be in the presence of the original Slayer. She babbled questions, barely taking the time to breathe or let Buffy answer any of them. Buffy and Jack were too used to teenagers at this point to have any problem understanding her chatter. They stood outside the hotel for several minutes as Buffy praised the younger girl and encouraged her to continue her training, before Mary/Maya left to return to the slayer house where the other slayers were “so not going to believe this!”

They watched her go, then Buffy looked up at Jack. “I think I showed a lot of restraint not kicking her butt.”

He looked at her, shocked. “She seemed nice! I thought you liked her!” 

Her face crumpled as she wailed. “But she called me maaaa’aaaam!”

Jack barely tried to smother the snicker as he put an arm around her and began to guide her into the hotel. “I know honey, and I’m sure she feels very bad about it.”

She pouted all the way to the elevator then snuggled up against him as it sped them to their floor. “How on earth did I wind up surrounded by all these teenagers? I bet there was some crummy prophecy but Giles was too chicken to tell me about it.”

He chuckled and answered in the only way that would hopefully be safe. “Yes dear.”

Jack reached down to plant quick kisses on her pouting lips until she couldn’t contain the smile or keep herself from kissing him back. The ding of the elevator arriving at their floor broke them apart and he escorted her the short distance to their room.

Buffy squirmed as she entered their room, still feeling a little cranky. “Eeuuw, that’s something they never tell you about in the Slayer Handbook. Vamp dust down the cleavage. Gross. I never woulda signed onto this gig if I’d known about this.”

Jack smirked at his girlfriend’s whining. “And do you tell the mini’s about that?”

“Hell no, that’s something you have to learn on your own.”

“Well then maybe that’s why they didn’t tell you.”

She had started to walk towards the bathroom but at his words she stopped mid-stride and pivoted towards him slowly, one eyebrow rising in disbelief. “I’m sorry, did you just become logic man? Because that’s so Giles’s job. But I guess if you’d prefer to be logic man,” she paused to slide the straps of her dress off her shoulders, “then I can call Giles and ask him to come wash my back instead.” She gave a little shimmy and a small push and the dress was around her ankles. “It’s really too bad.” Buffy stepped out of the dress, turned and continued into the bathroom.

As soon as he could pick his tongue off the ground Jack was bounding after her. “Logic? Hate the stuff, never touch it. I’ll leave that for Daniel and Carter and Giles. … You mentioned something about a back washing?”

“Get in here, you non-logiholic you.”

“Yes ma’am, whatever you say!”

Her shriek of outrage was cut off by the closing of the bathroom door, but the sounds that drifted out after that proved that Jack was very good at changing her mood for the better … or possibly just that he was very very good at washing backs.

* * *


End file.
